We have all read them and seen them quoted on the posters and DVD cases of countless movies, little snippets of wisdom from the masters of film review. From Rolling Stone, Ebert & Roeper and local radio and newspaper ads, we have all been duped and surprised by their suggestions and positive and negative quips. They are all quite cross influenced as well, as these lines of sage wisdom are being more and more recycled as the days go by. But beware, these people really don’t know what they are even saying anymore, they only poses a collection of sentences that are randomly selected and slapped on a marketing campaign and the studios and distributors are glad for the opportunity. With all that in mind here are some definitions of the most used fanciful fragments.
“A White-Knuckle Thrill Ride!’
This one is getting more usage as the American film market keeps remaking classic and foreign horror films. All this means is that there are plenty of “jump” segments with no substance and a sub-standard narrative, with no scare factor at all. Just cheap thrills that are created by the editor and composer, not the cast nor the director.
“…Keeps You Guessing to the End!”
Ah the twist, the trend that is getting old way too fast, and has lost its theatrical savor as well. There are films that have great twists e.g. The Empire Strikes Back, Fight Club, The Sixth Sense etc. but now it is popular to do so. And never put this catchy little ad in or on a review, it kind of ruins the surprise effect that the screenwriter intended.
“Adrenaline Fueled Action!”
Most used on the films of the dwindling action film genre, that is in bad need of reinvention and a good housecleaning. The action that we see in a movie labeled with this kiss-of-death phrase usually includes useless pretty boys trying to look tough and a script that is trying to be smarter than it really is. We don’t need “smart” action movies, we need straight-up Die Hard styled stories with explosions and an interesting villain, that’s all.
“Insanely Funny!”
I’m quite sure that any movie labeled with this is NOT funny, there are very few movies that make me laugh anymore, and it is usually not a comedy that does so. I know that everyone finds different things to be funny, but I have never seen a comedy with this phrase in the advertising to be funny. Watch for recycled jokes, sexual banter, and irreverence in these titles.
I suppose that I have vented enough for now, be watching for the second installment!
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